as you may know, if you follow my blog (heck even the followers don't really follow)i have been ill since before christmas. well, this week, i was told it was a mild case of pnuemonia but they hadn't seen the chest xrays that were SUPPOSE to be there on time. and they of course, weren't! so i asked them to call and let me know when they get them.
well,let me tell you, if i hadn't REQUESTED another breathing treatment this morning, i still wouldn't know (and may STILL call or write the board of health!).
i call this morning and request time to come in for a breathing treatment (which doesn't take but a moment of the dr.'s time to verify its necessity) and was told it shouldn't take too long since there was only one patient scheduled before my call. so i go ahead and schedule a 9:30 am appt. and STILL had to wait FORTY FIVE minutes before the dr. comes in for 30 seconds and verifies its necessity (like who would really go in there otherwise??? and if there are some who do, don't they know it's not ME that would do that, by now???? i only been seeing these idiots for 5 or 6 years or more!!!!!!!!!!!!!) anyways, after the treatment, the dr comes back and asks if i feel any different from the other two i got this weeek, i said not really, as a matter of fact, this one didn't immediately help like the others. he proceeds to tell me that they saw my xray and it's not mild pnuemonia, its a form of copd or a form of emhysemia (sorry for the spelling)... are you kidding, i asked and he wasn't!! but they were not going to tell me till my appt. that i have on this coming monday!!!! even tho i called specifically and TOLD the dr himself, that i wanted a phone call when they got the xray results... noonce called and no one was going to call!! i guess they were gonna bless me with a blissfully ignorant weekend of just not knowing. when i confronted them about why i wasn't called, they said they didnt feel it was an emergency. i walked out. i am livid and fed up and quite frankly feel completely betrayed by god himself!!!!!!!!@! i am alone and i am PISSED off!!!! so i will now understand if you don't want to come visit my blog anymore, don't blame ya!
don't even know if i will, at this point continue it at all...even though i had a pretty cool kit i was working on toshare. screw it.
nothing is working right, now my new computer, not the animals gettin along, not john getting a job and his unemployment running out and for shit's sake i can't even smoke. funny isn't it/?> well, it's been reall fun and i am sorry to end on such a bummer. yall have a great life and thanx for the fun we had. bye.
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10 comments:
Dearest Shirley I know you have had it rough..I can understand your being upset.
I know you didn't ask for my input..but you know me..I have to give it.:)
Don't blame God...run to him ! God does not tempt man with evil..he is there to help them through..when evil is present. Prayers are the BEST thing for you now...and even if you don't like it..I will be praying for you!
Love,
Valinda
Shirley -
I have sent you an email, I responded just to what you wrote, though at the time the words "deserve it" piqued me. You know that video in your side panel, thats exactly whats going on right now. The enemy works in exactly the place you are right now - and I agree 100% with Valinda, God never afflicts you with these things, they happen to everyone, the difference being that He is there to help you through IF you will allow Him to.
As it says in a song that means a great deal to me in this situation:
All who sail the sea of faith
Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can grow dark
And gentle winds grow strong
Suddenly fear is like white water
Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing
That our Lord is in control
Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child
He has a reason for each trial
That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken
We cannot be pulled apart from Christ
No matter how the driving rain beats down
On those who hold to faith
A heart of trust will always
Be a quiet peaceful place
Shirley, this song is called "sometimes He calms the storm" you can find it on YouTube. I hope it ministers to you. And now that I know you're not really upset about receiving my silly old newsletter I am going to pray for you without ceasing, and am going to rally everyone I know to.
I love you Shirley.
~ Barb
If I had your phone number I would phone you and let you yell at ME!
And I know you're mad, hurting and feel so alone - I'd feel the same, but I KNOW there are many here for you and we won't let you be alone.
We LOVE you.
Hi Shirley,
You've come to my blog in days gone by but I wasn't a scrap-booker and well, I don't think my blog appealed to you so I don't think you've been by recently.
Since you probably visited, my husband and soul mate of only 5 3/4 years dropped dead suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack June 5, 2010. I say this just to say that "shit" happens and it happens, sooner or later, to all of us. The thing that REALLY counts is how we respond to this "shit". Now one thing I know, and I know it with a certainty, is that God is good ALL OF THE TIME ... even in the midst of the storm ("shit"). The enemy tries his darnedest to get us to succumb to a pity party ... poor me ... I don't deserve this. I refuse to let him win. When I get low and feel myself sinking into the poor me-s ... I remember the scripture, "put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness". This is NOT easy to do. You have to pull yourself up by the shirt collar and give yourself a real shake and then DO IT! Trust me, it turns the situation around and changes one's focus.
Now I know COPD is not a nice thing ... my friend has it ... I know what it is about. But don't let the fear of the enemy grip you because fear will strip you of your faith. God has your life in His hands and He is going to work out His best for you ... even when it doesn't look like "best" to you. Often it is, I wish I and my beloved D could have gone together ... but that was not God's best for me. Now I don't know what God's best for me is at the moment ... I have to patiently WAIT for His promises ... trust me this is NOT easy ... I'm most impatient. And you do too. We are not any different than those that went before or those that suffer, even more than we do, even at this present moment.
Now I'll admit Mrs. Miles sent me your way ... because Mrs. Miles loves you and cares deeply for you ... and I care for you too, as a sister on the way ... and I want to say, you go girl ... you hang in there ... you trust when trust seems like the impossible, unlikely thing to do ... kick the enemy in the butt!
Eileen from Cicerosings
No words of advice, just be assured of my best wishes and prayers for you and your life.
Awwww Shirley, I just went to my blog and saw your comment and came here, Im sure glad I did!!!! Shame on you girl - Dont you dare give up on your precious life!!!! I think everyone ahead of me in these comments said it all.... Im not a real religious person, but I do have faith...and I know its all up to You to change this chain of events....Know COPD wont go away, and know it is a constant struggle, but I know you can make it, and with John and your son behind you and all your friends here - We are passing on all the strength in prayers that we can possibly send in hopes you will pick yourself up and keep on keeping on.
We love you sweetie, Hang Tight and know we are all with ya~!
Robbi and Mike.
I read your blog and along with the other bloggers that left you comments, I will pray for you. Please know/remember that God cares for you. I know I need to constantly remind myself of his caring b/c I have a lot of low moments. I do appreciate ur coming to my blog and looking and commenting on my craft work...keeps me going.
Shirley, darlin', I've been a hit 'n miss for over a year so please forgive me for not being about or being in the loop about your illness sweetheart.
I thank Barb for mentioning your post to me and, well girl, none of us can know "exactly" what you are feeling because we are not "you" and will never walk in "your" shoes, however, I don't believe there is a one of us that has not felt suffocated by adversity at one time or another in our lives. It is with that we can relate and have some idea of what and how you are feeling.
I wish to thank you for having enough faith and trust that you would come forth to share the intimate details of what is happening in your life with your blog friends. No one knows we need help if we don't let it be known, right?
It takes great strength and courage to come forth publicly and share one's anger and frustration. It lets me know that you feel "safe" with us and that you know in your heart that no one here will give you anything but unconditional love.
You are precious Ms. Shirley and I've just realized that you are right here in the same state I am, California! If you don't mind a phone call, I would love to give you a ring when it's good for you. I am here if you wish to talk or if you just need me to listen. I always say that we women are stronger emotionally because we know how to talk things out, eh? :)
Sending you BIG, BIG hugs and LOTS of love girlie.
Please email me: bonscrapatitdesigns (at) gmail (dot) com with your phone number if it is cool with you for me to call, okay?
Take care love and I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers - XO
OMG girl sending you an email right now!
Good morning Shirley:)
Just stopping in to let you know that I am thinking about you and still praying.:)
Huge warm hugs my friend!!
Love,
Valinda
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